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After your wedding, did you scamper into a white limo adorned with painted cans and daisy chains, then hop a red-eye to St. Did you and your newly betrothed hole up in a driftwood cabana with a chilly bottle of pink wine and rose petals and have wild, earth-shattering intercourse morning, noon, and night? Was your delirious lovemaking interrupted only by thoughtful walks down the sand, side by side, in matching sarongs? Ukraine when my husband and I went on a group snorkeling excursion and the waves were so choppy videos he turned green and threw up over the side of the boat.

Debunking the Myth of the Perfect Honeymoon: 6 Hilarious Horror Stories

Or the four-hour prix fixe meal at the fanciest restaurant in town, only we sat in strained silence the entire time.

Also, it rained. A ton. He spent a lot of time golfing, I spent a lot of time watching Mad Men on my computer, and when we were together, it just felt like there was always a pink-painted elephant in the room huffing and snorting with sex to please have the absolute time of your lives! If, on your way to forever-wedded bliss, you and your partner find yourselves curled up on honeymoon sides of the king bed in your luxury suite grumbling over the choice of a pay-per-view movie, rest assured, you are not alone.

Below, six tips from the sisterhood on what to possibly expect once you ride off into the sunset on a bicycle built for two.

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